If only....

Today was a sad day.
First I recived the news a friends father passed away of a heart attack. This was particulay sad because this sweet friend of mine lost her mother a year ago! She has got to be the strongest girl I have meet. To deal with the loss of BOTH her parents that she treasured so dearly, and act the way she is, WOW!
Kristen girl, your amazing and I love you so much!

I then heard the sad news of sweet Tori.


I had feel in love with Tori a long time ago and have included her on my Reece's Rainbow poster for Chrissie's party. The news that came shocked me...Left me in tear.
Tori has been tranfered! Moved to a place where she will recive NO love, NO care!
How could a child be left in this condition?!? It is DISCUSTING! Makes me sick to think this could be Oscar!
Drugged. Unfead. Unloved. Left to die.
Why?
She has a disabilty!
Thats ALL it is. A disabilty!
Far out, she is still human! Yet she is living in a place I find horrible for a dog to be in!
Yet, there Tori is, tied to a crib, staved, wondering what she did to deserve this!
What did she do? She was blessed with something differant!
If only the world knew what a blessing disabilitys are!
If only the world knew how these children were treated!

The next news came soon after Tori's news...
Sweet Anne Marie!


She died an orphan! But she did not die unlove, I just wish she knew the love the world had for her!
Why do we let this happen? Why don't we all put together and stop this? Why did this child have to die an orphan?!?!?

If only the world knew what a blessing children with disabiltys are!

Remember?

Oscar, Remember when you got this scar and I told you it was all over. All those surgerys, pain... gone.
Sorry it wasn't the truth, baby boy!
One day, I will say it again and it will be for real this time.

Oh, how my heart aches!

Darling Oscar,
Seeing you in pain has got to be the worst feeling I have ever felt!
How my heart aches to see you this way sweet lovey!
I would give anything to take that pain away, my precious darling, but I can't.
What I can do is make you a promise....
I promise to ALWAYS be there! I will hold your hand, kiss your chubby cheeks, tickle you, hug you, love on you... What ever it takes! I will be there.
I promise you that soon all this pain will be soooooo worth it!
God has BIG and MIGHTY plans for you! I know that for sure! And for some reason God is putting you in pain. No Oscar, that doesn't mean he doesn't love you, it just means he needs you to go through this to forfill your purpose!
I know He doesn't like seeing you in pain, He is your father, He loves you beyond the love I could ever give you! And that is ALOT!
Oscar, one day, when ever He decides, this pain will disapper, and we will live Happily ever after :)
It is killing me to see you like this precious boy, but it is part of a HUGE plan!
I love you so much sweet hunny!



Could I please ask for prayers, Oscar bottom is BAD at the moment!
Pray that it will heal, soon!

Just what I needed!

Sorry I didn't blog last night! I didn't get home till LATE!
And right now I wanna crawl back under those sheets and go to sleep but I am heading back to school!
Yes, school is back in starting as of yesterday.
School wasn't good nor bad, nothing exiting really.

Last night Lyndall and I went to the movies to see Charlie St Cloud! Ahhhhhhh!
I just LOVE Zac Efron by the way! And it was a great movie! :-)
Not only was it a great movie, but it allowed me to spend some 1 on 1 time with Lyndall!

I should hopfully be heading to Oscars this afternoon! So I will get an update of ya'll :)

P.S. Pray that I get through the day without falling a sleep in class, not a good look 2nd day back ;)

What is going on?!?

I have never really vented on here but right now I am feeling horrible so who knows, maybe typing it out, sending into the internet world for everyone and anyone to see may just help! I'm willing to try it!

The past few days have been hard! And I think having Chrissies birthday in the mix has allowed me to cry my eyes out ALOT!
I am not the type of girl that will sit there and cry, infact I hardly ever cry! But bottling it up does not help at all! I think that is what has happened to me the past few days.
Seeing Oscar in constant pain is hard, so so hard, but I HAVE TO be strong! I can not sit there and cry.... thats not going to help anyone!
I have had alot going on latly, but I see crying compleatly pointless and force myself not to do it, but to see the light side in it all. To know it is His plan, and His plan is PERFECT! Its good to know that everything happens for a reason, but at times it is still hard.

So the past few days, all that bottled up stuff has come out, in MANY forms!
I have cryed
I have screemed
I've had fights with my parents
Pretty much every emotion has come out latly and I feel terrible!

My face book status a few nights ago....
"I will make you proud, Chrissie
Thats a promise"
I feel like I am letting Chrissie down, breaking a promise, and that feeling is TERRIBLE! And I wish I could stop this 'mood' I am in!

I began thinking today it could be a hormone imbalance? Mood swings are common + there have been changes in my body I can't discribe.
Maybe this will just last a few days, I am hoping so!
What ever it is, I want it to STOP!
I don't wanna feel angry and fight with EVERYONE, even if they don't do anything!
I think what I need right now is a dose of Oscar lovin'! Gotta be the best medicine EVER!

Please don't think I am complaining about my life because I am VERY blessed, and I know that and would never take it for granted, not even for a second, I just don't wanna feel so crabby and angry all the time!

Venting...... Compleate!

'C'

Look up at the moon!
I was driving home from work thinking about Chrissie as always and I saw it there, so bright!
See, it is almost a new moon, but not quite! In fact, it looks like a C, C for Chrissie!
See the star above the moon?! The brightest in the sky tonight!
I call it 'The birthday star' Just for Chrissie!

Thank you for sending us this special gift Chrissie! I know you hate seeing anyone upset and girl this made me smile :)

Boy, do I wish I had a camera!

BIG BIG news!

WOW! Today has been a day full of BIG news!
Today is still Chrissies birthday, just on the other side of the world... The side were she lived, the side were her family is!

Kisses FROM Chrissie!
A friend of mine, mother of 4, living down the road recently found out her 5th child died in her womb. At an utlra sound a few weeks ago there was no heart beat, so the doctor sent her to the abortion clinic to remove the baby. But she said no, she wanted to deliver it, not just get it 'sucked out'. So today she went to have her angel baby. They got her hooked up to the machines, induced her and did one lat ultra sound. And what do you know.... THERE IS A HEART BEAT! Wow! Life restored to this precious child of God! Just on time for Chrissies birthday!
I just know Chrissie telling this baby to "Boss your heart!" and guess what?! It also turns out this baby is a heart baby, just like Chrissie!
Please pray for the family, although they are over joyed with the news it was a trawmatic few weeks! Boy oh Boy!

Kisses FOR Chrissie!
Remember sweet Yulia??
SHE HAS A FAMILY!
Amazing huh?
What a great present for Chrissie's birthday, to have a child saved, IN HER HONOR!
Thank you everyone who has donated!

God is great! God is mighty! With God ALL is possible!
God used Chrissie to show the world just that and He still is, from all the way in heaven! Cool, huh?!

Happy Birthday Christyn Joy!