Joy... For she is now happy and healthy and doing everything and anything she ever dreamed of?
Saddness... That I won't see her in this world?
Sorrow... Because I watch people I now call family go through an unimaginably difficult time?
Power... For I KNOW my prayers are being heard?
Confusion... Because there are so many mixed feelings?
Selfishness... Because I am crying that I don't get to be with her, even though I KNOW she is happy?
Anger... That I can't be with 'my family' as they walk this difficult road?
Tell me which of these feeling am I meant to feel?
Because today I got told I should have none of them... I didn't 'know' her they told me...
I have all those feelings and soooo many more!
But Chrissie, you know my feelings, you hear my prayers and you see my heart... so know this baby girl, I KNOW you, and I LOVE you... You have given me more then I could ever ask for, more then I deserve. and I am totally greatful!
A year ago today you were on your second day of being stuck in that hospital! You had died for 20 minutes yesterday and today you were proving to doctors what a warrior you are! And then, Mommy got a picture of your heart, showing us you had a cross right in the middle :) Its totally cool, baby!
Anyways, you are really starting to get me praying! Its amazing!
And today, 2011, I am praying and thanking and praising and loving and crying and its all ok! Cause you did it baby girl! You and God worked in magical ways to change my life and so many others!
Thank you Chrissie, I love you!
You can feel it all my beauitful sister!!! Because God understands each and every emotion that your amazing heart has felt. Don't let anyone tell you that you didn't "know" Chrissie. You know her SO well and she is much a part of you as any of you family members that live in same house as you!! xoxoxox
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