Keepin' the faith

... has never been so hard!

God, are you listening?! Do you see him suffering? The boy that I adore.... in more pain then I could ever imagine....
Hello? ARE YOU LISTENING!!!!

I am trying so hard to beleive this is His will... but HOW could you possibly let a child be in so much pain, for what could be nothing.

We walked down the hosiptal halls and it felt too familiar!
I broke down in tears.... that hospital days with that boy haunt me, even more then ever now!

We talked about Oscar's diet and then I needed to change him. We asked the doctor to look at his bottom while we did it.
Within' 2 miniutes we had SIX doctors in the room trying to figrue out what it is...how we can help and the finally they gave us an answer...well close enough to it anyway.
"If it hasn't healed by now....we are not sure how long it will take"

Those words terrify me... anger me.... make me cry.... think of any emotion.... that is how I felt when I heard these words.

We have a appointment with the surgen as soon we can.
We have 2 options...

1) Tough it out... hope the pain stops soon, hope to find a working cream, just continue what we are doing so he can poo normally when he is older. :(

2) Place the colostomy bag back on... Meaning all the pain from the last 2 years has been POINTLESS! Meaning once it is on, it is not coming off! Meaning instead of just one surgery, we have put him through seven. :(

I have no idea which is the better option.
Oh God... you are there! Right?
Tell me what you want us to do!
PLEASE!
We can not continue seeing him like this.... it is killing me!

I can not stop crying...
Being angry...
Trying to make everything into a joke....
Being selfish...
DYING inside!

How long do you expect us to keep it together?



Because we are FAILING!
And I know we are failing you...
But oh Lord, we just adore that little boy you gave us! All we want is to see him happy and pain free....

We are trusting you...

Keepin' the faith...

As best we can.

Coming to an end!

Boo Hoo!
I have one more day left before I'm back to school!
Although I am keen to see everyone I really don't want to go.

ONE MORE DAY!

One more very very busy busy day!

Tomorrow I am up at the crack of dawn (Whats new?!) and off to go shopping with Miss Annie!
A girls morning out :)
The rushing back home... picking up Oscar and going to his peds appointment.
Oh boy am I nervous!
Please pray all goes fine and dandy :)

I will then hopfully be coming home and skyping with my lovies!
Oh and I would love to skype with you guys too!
Leave a comment below if you wanna ;)

Please pray for a fairy tale ending to my summer break...

LOVES xoxo

Why we do what we do...

This post is written with many many tears.
Tears of sadness, but joy.
Tears of guilt, but pride.

Today a precious child on Reece's Rainbow went to heaven.
She left this imperfect world as an orphan and began her eternal dance with Jesus.

My heart is broken because she NEVER got to know what it was like to be loved by a forever family :(
Oh how I wish I were a little older! Maybe I could have saved her life!
But the reality is, if I was intended to be her mummy God would have sent me here a few years ago.

In a way, when a child goes to be with Jesus, it is a good thing. They will never grow out of their sweet innocents. They will be in a place, forever young and forever joyful in the arms of our loving father.
But in our earthly eyes, seeing a child taken at such a young age is a sick, heart breaking thing. Particually when this child never knew love!
And the only reason....she has Down syndrome.

The joy Sandra would have received when she approched the gates of heaven to see the Miss Chrissie and Anne Marie welcoming her! To lead her to our Father and for him to say "I love you, I always have, you are safe in my arms now, sweet baby"....
The joy of being loved.

I am so happy for you little one.
I feel selfish crying all these tear's and wishing you were here for me to hug you.
Your life changed for the better today.
You are in His arms.
You will be loved, forever and always!

Rest in peace, sweet baby girl!

You will be forever loved, and always missed.





THIS is why we do what we do....
We need to save these precious children

Happy Birthday, Mattie!

Happy 13th birthday to my beautfil, AMAZING, wonderful sister, Mattie Patterson!

Mattie, the day God gave me you was a turning point in my life! You filled my heart with hope... the hope that I could make a differance in the world.
From the second I read that very first email I knew we would be BEST FRIENDS.... But we are more then that! We are sisters :)

Oh boy! In the word of Kelly Clarkson.... My life would SUCK without you!

The joy in my heart I receive opening each and every email and letter!

The joy I receive of thinking about the day we finally meet!

You are the most amazing person I have ever had the honor of getting to know!
You are such an inspiration to not just young people, but everyone!

I know so many people you have touched the hearts of... People are inspired by you from your Momma's blog, EVEN my friends ADORE you!

You are soooooooo amazing and I am beyond blessed to even know you!

I hope today is the best day of your life!

Look at how much God has used you for in just 13 years... WOW!
To just think of what He will do with you in the years and years to come! ;)

Happy 13th Birthday, Sister :)

I LOVE LOVE LOVE you more then words can say!

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Celebrating Australia!

Australia day is just two days away....
The shops are filled with t-shirts, flags and all sorts of fun things!
The weather is hot...hot...hot!
It looks like Australia day is going to be perfect!



To celebrate.... we are eating some vegimite sandwhich's ;)
What a PERFECT way to celebrate Australia....
By eating the counrty's finest foods!



Not to forget eating them with the most perfect little boy!
Oh how I adore watching him eat his sandwhich and pull the funnest little faces...



He is just WONDERFUL in every way possible!
I am so unworthy of his love but am so glad God gave him to me :)
He is just too stickin' cute....



To think that less then 3 years ago I was horrible and selfish....
To think that less then 3 years ago God gave me the most amazing little baby boy who has forever changed me!
Oh my, it is just soooooo wonderful!



Celebrating Australia day with the most precious gift sent straight from heaven!
Thank you God!



I remember the Australia day before Oscar came...
I had a HUGE pool party :)
It was soooooo much fun!
I had and a cake, and lollies, and drinks, and chocolate of course...
But now I realise that the people there are the reson why I remember that Australia day, like I will remember this Australia day spent with the most amazing sweetie pie EVER... who just happens to have Down syndrome ;)

Learning....Blosming...Growing....

OMG... you look like a ZOMBIE!

I am not sure what to think of work. Sometimes I love it, sometimes I hate it.
Customers annoy me and make me angry! Today I got a entire meal thrown at my head by an angry man! SERIOUSLY?!
But this convo made my day....

Little boy- 'are you tired?'
Me- 'a little, why?'
Little boy- 'Oh wow! You look real tired.... you look like a zombie!'
Me- 'Oh no! Really?'
Boy- 'Trust me you do! You look like one from a nightmare!'
Me- 'Well, thats not very good is it' (I could not stop laughing at this point!)
Boy- 'Anyway Zombie girl.... could I have a happy meal toy'
Me- 'Sure, they are $2'
Boy- 'But your my bestest friend, Zombie girl!'
Me- 'Oh sweetie, I know but I still need the $2'
Boy- 'But YOU forgot it in my happy meal!!!'
Me- 'Well then, I better give it too you for free'
Boy- 'Yer, you better!'
.... So I gave him his to and he starts to wonder off, then I hear...
'Whoooo! I tricked a Zombie! Zombies are stupid! Free toy for me!'
hahahahahaha
Good night :)

The crazy life of a teenager!

Life has been a bit insain latly. I barly get time to think!
-Working 5 shifts a week.
-Babysitting 5-7 days a week.
-Finding time for family, friends and of course my Oscar!
-Keeping up with Face book and blogs
-Bloging
-Running 'To love the unloved' with Ash, Savana and Kenz :)
And sooooo much more!

I am very very busy!

But busy is good, most of the time anyways.

There are ALOT of things going on that I need to think about but force myself to stay busy to avoid thinking.... so for now being busy means I can avoid what I dont want to think about! :)

So, if I don't blog for a few days you know why....
We have like a week and a half left of summer holidays and between babysitting and work, I have ONE day off! OH my!

Be back for the crazy life of a teenager very soon :)

Max Mondays..... :)

Sound's pretty cool huh?!
Well, that cool sounding name is going to bring this child HOME....

Yes :)
We ARE going to bring Max home!

How can you help?
Each Monday I am putting $5 into Max's adoption jar...
I am asking YOU to do the same.
Let me saying that again...
I am asking YOU to save this child's life.

Yes, thats right...
By giving up ONE coffee a week....
Just $5....
You can save this precious little boy!

To sign up please email me at cute-volcom@hotmail.com
When you do sign up I will post you a picture of little Max, and Max's prayer... so as well as donating to save him, you can pray :)

If you are not willing to commit to Max Monday's please consider adding to our 'chip-in'...

Each and every cent counts!
No donation is too little or too big!

This little boy NEEDS to be home! Right now he is in an institution in condition's I wouldn't wish upon ANYONE or ANYTHING!
He has been tied to a crib and left to die... and it will happen if we don't get to him FAST!



So please, PLEASE, please sign up for Max Mondays and make a differance in a life of an orphan.

To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world ~Heather Cortez

Make your life.... one life... count!

Thank you

Snoty, Sore, Blocked up but Happy boy!

Oscar never stops amazing me with his bravery!
I wish more then anything that I could take his pain away but the reality is I can not! He is in God's hands... That is OK! Because I know God loves him more then me!

I went to see Oscar today and I was shocked!
Lets start off with his bottom...
Well it is bad! It is the worst I have ever seen it!
It is constently bleeding!
We are worried how much blood he has lost from it the past few days... because when we change his nappy and wipe his bottom (Which is extreamly painful but needed!) it just pores out with blood! And he has ALOT of nappy changes a day!
Doctors say to wash it and keep it clean as much as possible!
But because Oscar has little control over his bottom and nappys are very expensive it is very hard to do so. Plus it doesn't even seem to work!

Oscar is also a VERY snoty little man!
He HATES me wiping his nose but those boggies ain't stoppin' coming!!!
Poor little man!
When Oscar gets sick... He gets VERY sick!
At the moment they have no car (Its in for repairs) and our car doesn't have the straps for the baby seat. So the doctors has to wait for a few more days. Although I rang today to book an appointment and they told me at least two weeks!!! HONESTLY?!
He is having a bit of trouble breathing, but not bad enough to be hospitalised. YET anyway.
It seems when he gets a cold he gets it sooo bad that he needs to go to hospital and get some O2 into him!

But he has to be one of the happiest children out!
We had a great day together besides a few crying fits because Daddy walked out the room!!!
We went for a walk out to the point and he loved every second of it!
He has this funny thing going where he loves to touch certain tree's on the way home!
It cracks me up!

Please keep my snoty, sore, blocked up but happy baby boy in your prayers :)

Thank you, sweet friends!

Oh, and we did a photo shoot, just for YOU.... Enjoy!


'Oh my, here comes the crazy lady with the camera AGAIN!'


I must say, he is beautiful!


Those eyes are amazing!


Ok, we stoped having lunch for a few moments to take some shots because he was being SUPER cute.... as you can see ;)


Every day I thank God for this precious little boy! This is one of my fav pictures of the day! We told him to put his tounge away and show some teeth.... adorable! :)


One last thing before we say goodnight...
Happy Birthday Miss Lilybird!
Can't you see? Oscar just adore's Lily!
Them two share ALOT in common!
They are both brave and almost always happy. They both have a bent pinky and a crease down the center of their palms. Not to forget the big space between their first and second toe... or that magical extra chromosome!
It is these things that bought them together.... and one day that WILL meet and play together so amazingly.
But untill then.... We will just edit adorable pictures of them ;)

Happy birthday, sweet girl!
We ADORE you!

Thank you, Oscar

Dear Oscar,

I found this peom today, and it really got me thinking.
I remebered when I found out you had Down syndrome.
I am not going to lie, I was TERRIFIED!
Because the doctors made it seem so scary, they are just silly!
They don't know what a blessing you are, Down syndrome and all! And thats just a bummer for them ;)

When I read this I thought that if we found out you had Down syndrome when you were still in your mummy's tummy this little boy could have been you!
But God made sure we didn't find out untill you were one day old :)
See, God has always loved you!

I think about what my life would be like without you.... and I do not like it one bit!

Because of you, when I read this my heart aches...

Month One

Mommy
I am only 4 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.



Month Two

Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.





Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.




Month Four

Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.




Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?




Month Six


I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!



Month Seven


Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?



Every Abortion Is Just . . .



One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

You are such a precious gift Oscar, and I wish everyone knew what a blessing Down syndrome really is!

One day.... :)


Thank you, precious lovie, for changing me!

I love you,
Godmummy xo

Queensland Flood Crisis

You have probebly seen it on the news, the reality of what so many people are living with right now. The devistion and destruction they are witnessing RIGHT NOW!
Nine dead. NINE! That is someone's mother. Someone's son. A Daddy. A little baby sister.... NINE human live's lost. And more expected....

A mother let go of her baby boy and watched him get swept away to die. A two year old baby boy! The same age as Oscar. Gone.
Just imagine the pain of his mother. Holding onto her helpless little boy in a rush of water and suddenly have him slip away from her arms.
Having to watch your child in a rush of muddy water, untill he finally dissappers into the floods.
Nothing, NOTHING, is going to bring that mumma comfort tonight.
Knowing she is going to sleep with nothing! Not even the hope of watching her child grow up.
My heart is with that mother....

And that is just ONE story!
One of thousands and thousands of sad, and heart breaking stories.
There are so many people left with absolutly nothing!
And we are here complaining we do not have a big enough house? Or we need a new phone? So many wants.... when they are left with nothing!

I have a mother, with a child with Down syndrome on facebook. Her child's medication is sent out from Brisbane when the floods are and right now there are no calls going through... thats just another small story that is breaking my heart!

PLEASE keep these people in your prayers!
That is all I am asking you for!
Just a few moments to pray!

Thank you,

Oh, darling boy.....

Oscar, I love you very very much! But your God Mummy would LOVE it if you could grow up a little slower, Pleaseeeeee :)


This is you and Gragra. You were one week old when we were finally able to hold you!
I don't have any photo's taken of us together when you were born.
Because you were so fragile and there were only two people allowed in the room at a time, I made sure the other person was on stand bye incase I was holding you wrong or something scary happened.
How differant to now when I throw you around in the air and Mummy and Daddy freak out! I won't drop you, I promise ;)
Look at what a little chub you were!!!

Stop growing, lil' darl! :)

Hello 2011!!!

This year is going to be busy I can tell you now!
Here are the main things I will be doing this year....


To love the unloved! Changing the world one orphan at a time!
www.tolovetheunlovedblog.blogspot.com
Oh I am so exited this is happening! How I adore the girls I am doing this with! They are just AMAZING!!!


I am so exited to not only Boss my heart, but read the entire bible in honor of Chrissie :)


Fundraing for Max! Even if it just means throwing my change into a jar..... it HELPS!


Not to forget about the most important thing this year!
Lovin' on my boy! Watching him learn more and more things!


Oh how great is this year going to be!!!! :)

Happy 2011. Are you ready?

Bye Bye 2010!

Here is a look over what my 2010 was like!....


Oscar's bottom was finally clear enough for him to go in the big pool for the FIRST TIME EVER! What a joy it was :)



Annie almost got her eye poked out by the boys!!! Oh the joys of having crazy little brothers ;)



We got an adorable new family member, Tyler James!



Make that TWO new aditions! Tiara Lousie. born 3 months premmie!



We did some photo shoots.



We went on some picnics.



Feel crazy in love with a little Texan girl :)



Watch Chrissie touch and change lives in her one month hospital battle!
Oh, what a blessing this precious baby is to me!



Watched one clever little boy learn to sit up all by himself! ;)



Turned 15.



Said "goodbye for now!" to the most adorable princess EVER!



Got some cool stuff from our friends in Cleveland :D We love you Marks family!



Partied...



And some more....



And some more....


Ok, so we partied ALOT!




We expolred!



We had girls day out! :)


And I loved on the most adorable little boy EVER!

Enough photo's for now... will be back soon ;)