Oscar is the same as yesterday, and the day before, and the one before that too. And I am expecting to tell you the same tomorrow and possible the days to come after that. It is just so uncertain when Oscar will get better, When his bottom will finally heal.
I am just so sick of waiting.... waiting for a happy, pain free child!
But it seems to be the best things we ever get are the things we have to wait for (even though Oscar already is the best thing that has ever happened to me!)
I wish I could wake up one morning and we knew that his bottom would heal that day!
Even if it was certain, so we could prepare and count down the days of when we will have a healthy happy baby boy again.
I wish we could say "Oscar guess what only a week left untill you are pain free!"
But it just doesn't work that way! :(
One of the hardest things is watching and waiting.
Watching the person I love more then anything go through so much pain and not be able to do a thing.
And wait, wait, wait.... for God to answer our prayers.
Sometimes I just think it would be easier if we put the colostomy bag back on, but that would mean this whole year, all that progress, all that pain... would be worth nothing.
He has come so far in learning how to push when he needs to, control it, ect.
Puting the bag back on just doesn't seem like the right idea?
But I hate seeing him like this! In all this pain... It's just not fair!
No child should have to sit there screeming for 12 hours a day becuase they are in pain!
No child should be constently bleeding without anything to stop it.
No child should have to go through what Oscar is.
I just isn't fair!
Oscar baby, I would give anything to take your pain away!
Stay strong bubba boy, God will heal you in His perfect timing, I promise!
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